This is clearly a much debated topic, and I’m not looking to debate or argue that age is a factor in determining the validity or strength in a marriage. To me getting married young is a preference. That being said, I’m not saying you should go out and marry the first guy who makes you feel “in love,” who tries to push you into doing things you aren’t comfortable with, who tries to negatively change who you are, and is greatly disapproved by the important people in your life. That WOULD be an immature decision.
Growing up, I had always wanted to get married young, I had many theories about how it was better, though, they were probably pretty biased. I did end up getting married young, not because I was looking for it but because I was blessed enough to find my best friend at an early age. For those considering getting married young, these are the things that swayed my opinion.
1) You get to share everything together.
All the things that you would’ve done anyway being single, you get to do with your spouse. I’m tired of people saying that marriage is the end of your happiness as you know it. To, me its just the beginning! Marriage is an adventure and I am so blessed to be able to share with my husband all the firsts, all the trips, and all the many memories we’ve created TOGETHER. We get to look back and remember together instead of just wishing we could have been there.
2) Build together.
Everything you build for yourself in this world, you build together. You come into your marriage with nothing, nothing to say, “No, that’s mine,” or “but I worked hard for that.” Rather, “that’s ours,” and “WE worked hard for that.” It takes the focus off of “I” in your marriage, removes the pride and forces you to depend on each other. By building together, you build a whole new level of unity, and grow stronger in your relationship because of it.
3) You’re not set in your ways.
You don’t become two independent people and try to mash all of your acquired habits together. By getting married young, you haven’t developed those habits yet so it’s easier to put your two lives into one. Often, you’re more forgiving of each other and able to work through your expectations of each other because you share the mindset that you’re new at this.
4) You save more of yourself for your spouse.
By, getting married young, you haven’t necessarily lived long enough to make a lot of mistakes in relationships. Getting married sooner prevents you from bringing many ghosts from previous relationships into the mix. You have more of yourself to share with your spouse, and that can help the two of you to create a stronger bond.
5) Grow together.
Getting married sooner forces you to mature faster because you need to. Along the way, you’ll learn many valuable lessons and you’ll build into each other as well. They say that you are like a completely different person every 7 years or so. Regardless, of when you get married you’re going to have to deal with that. Though, in my personal opinion, at a younger age you don’t really know what to expect and you’re more forgiving and willing to seek help.
6) You can never be truly ready for marriage.
I started reading every marriage book I could get my hands on since I was 15, I learned quite quickly that as much as you prepare yourself for marriage, its always going to be difficult. At a young age, they aren’t lying, you probably will experience more issues in your marriage than if you waited. Financially, you will struggle A LOT. Though, I’ve found that by going through more difficult struggles at a younger age, if you can successfully make it through, you can make it through anything. I feel that many marriages today are being entered with a very finite and temporary mindset. At the first sign of conflict we end up asking ourselves, “Did I make a mistake? Did I do the right thing?” Rather, we should be focusing our efforts on, “How do I make this work?”
I have this theory… I want you to ask your grandparents at what age they got married. Obviously there will be some exceptions but most (well, most I know) got married quite young and their marriages lasted much longer than a lot of marriages today. They had this infinite mindset where whatever went wrong their FIRST reaction was to fix it. They must have done something right!
7) More years to share.
My husband and I will share our 10th anniversary before we’re 30, how cool is that?!
8) Its super fun!
You’re young, energetic; it’s like having a sleepover with your best friend every night! 🙂
It’s obviously not a decision you make overnight, and there are many reasons why you should not get married young. Though, it is an incredible blessing to be able to give yourself to someone for the rest of your life, it is also a big responsibility. It will be hard, a wedding is not a happily ever after, but it is a wonderful journey and I would never discourage that if their hearts are in the right place.