1. Are You a Follower of Christ?

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

We were not created to have relationships simply for our own pleasure. What ministry you can create on your own should multiply when you partner with another Christian. How can you do this with a non-Christian? You cannot expect you will win them over.

Simply the act of going to church and being a good person does not make you a Christian either, which is why I stated the question, “Are you a Follower of Christ?” Are you living everyday with the focus of becoming more like Christ? Are you living in such a way that rather than fitting God into your busy life, He IS your life. Is God your absolute #1 above all else? Is this evident in your fruits?

  1. What Does ‘Dating’ Mean to You?

I can’t give you a bible verse on dating because there was no relationship that resembled the modern term ‘dating’ found in our society today. That being said, there were three types of relationships:

  • Friendship (Proverbs 18:24, 27:6, 9, 10)
  • “Brother-Sister in Christ” (1 John 3:1, Galatians 5:13, Hebrews 10:24)
  • Marriage (Genesis 2:24)

That being said, you need to define what the purpose behind your dating relationship will be. Will you use dating to get know each other on a deeper level or will you discuss that while still declaring yourselves friends? Will you date to prepare yourselves for marriage or will you save that preparation for engagement? Is ‘dating’ for you intentional or under the mindset of “we’ll see where it goes?” How long should you date before engagement? Are you prepared for marriage should the relationship progress that way? These are all questions you need to discuss before entering into a dating relationship.

  1. What Does ‘Marriage’ Mean to You?

“for we are members of His body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.” Ephesians 5:30-32

The purpose of marriage is not at all for ourselves; it is a covenant (the last biblical covenant) that we can make with God vowing to serve Him better by representing Christ and the church. We invite people to hold us accountable to this commitment and we are joined as one with God as our judge and our witness. We are held doubly accountable for our actions made under a vow to God. This is never something to be taken lightly (especially where a covenant is concerned) and I feel sad for those who have entered into this covenant not understanding the weight of their decision and what this means for if they decide they no longer want to engage in this commitment.

If you are not ready to make this kind of commitment, I do not believe a dating relationship is for you. A dating relationship should be moving in this direction and be taken as seriously as the commitment it is heading towards.

  1. How Far is Too Far?

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.” 1 Corinthians 6:18

You need to set clear boundaries in your relationship and you must ensure you never cross them. When it comes to the question of “How far is too far,” you need to first understand that the only biblical relationship that involved physical intimacy was marriage. This means that kissing and all other forms of physical intimacy were saved for marriage.

I realize that many of you reading this are thinking, “That’s crazy! I’m not saving my first kiss for marriage!” I know, and I didn’t either. Though, when it comes to “how far is too far,” you will not find your answer in the bible because it isn’t there. The devil loves to convince you that there are gray areas but I assure you its black and white. If you’re at the point where you’re trying to convince yourself its okay, it’s not okay.

Seek purity by limiting any physical intimacy that may distract you from your true focus, God.

  1. Are You a Spiritual Leader?

“But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Corinthians 11:3

Men are called by God to lead their families spiritually, financially, physically, socially and emotionally. Every man has a different way of accomplishing this, but the order dictated by God remains the same.

“I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.” 1 Timothy 2:12

A woman must be able to trust her man to lead her and she can’t unless his trust lies fully in God to lead him. Her faith in him is directly proportional to his faith in God.

  1. Who Can Be Our Accountability Partners?

“Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.” Philippians 3:17

It is so important to have accountability partners no matter what stage of life you are in. Seek out examples of couples that can walk along side you as you start this new journey. Be honest with them of your struggles and your temptations that you may grow and build a healthy, long lasting and God honoring partnership.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

For further consideration of whether starting a God honouring relationship (dating) is for you read 1 Corinthians 7:25-40.

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