I think a lot of young married couples like myself go through many difficult struggles in their early marriages and never seem to talk about it because they don’t even know what they’re going through. Seeing as most marriage issues can be traced back to our relationship with God, I want to talk a bit about Spiritual Leadership!

Spiritual Leadership is something we hear so often, but no one really takes the time to spell it out for us young couples. They simply say, “look for a spiritual leader…” So… a christian? No. For those who are newly married or working your way there, this is for you!

I warn you, this is from a discussion that my husband, Pierre Groenewald had with me the other night so all of the quotes are stolen from him!

“I kept failing because I didn’t know what my goal was in the first place.”

Women, we tend to be quite hard on our husbands, we criticize them, we compare them and we try to change them, or maybe its just me… I often hold Pierre to an impossible standard because I’m not happy and I feel like something is missing. But he isn’t what’s missing, God is. At sometime or another this happens to all of us, not because we’re not “good christians,” but because if we aren’t spending everyday moving forward in our relationship with God, we’re moving backward.

While men are defined by their jobs,etc., women are defined by their man. We panic and freak out on our husbands because we don’t feel safe and secure when our man isn’t living how we think he should be living.

Pierre would then try to please me by cleaning the house into the early hours of the morning while I slept, taking me on a romantic date night, sitting me down on the couch while HE cooked supper for us… but we still fought like cats and dogs. Everyday that went by, we tried, we failed, we started all over again.

“Your faith in me is directly proportional to my faith in God.”

In the words of my wonderful husband, “If I put everything I had into my relationship with God, you and I would be okay simply from the overflow.” Pierre was trying to please me by the worlds standards, he spent all of his time and energy trying to make us work, and in the process stopped taking time for God. When actually, it should’ve been the other way around.

Our faith in our husbands, how we feel defined by them is directly proportional to how they define themselves in God. “My relationship with God should be ten-fold what my relationship is with you. My priorities were wrong. I switched the two.”


The book of Ruth tells a redemptive story. Boaz was Ruth’s kinsmen-redeemer (a relative who took responsibility for his extended family). When Boaz, learned Ruth was Naomi’s daughter-in-law, he took measures to protect her.

In caring for Ruth, Boaz symbolized the love and concern Christ shows us. As Boaz cared for his future bride, Ruth, so Christ cares for us with empathy and compassion. Boaz had both the power and the willingness to redeem Ruth, just as Christ had the authority and desire to redeem a fallen humanity. (Adapted from a devotional in my bible)

Boaz symbolized Christ. He was foreshadowing the relationship between Christ and the Church. This story is a biblical picture of a spiritual leader and of the innocence and purity that a relationship should look like.

A Spiritual Leader is a Redeemer

Redeem = To compensate for the faults or bad aspects of something.

Ephesians 5:26-27

“ To make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or blemish, but holy and blameless.”

A Spiritual leader will consider his bride as the King’s daughter and always seek to protect her purity by presenting her “without stain or blemish, but holy and blameless.”

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